Typical Saturday

I don’t understand why you are holding those binoculars, looking at me from afar, everyday… What do you want from me?!?!

Said the bird, while the watcher’s face was frozen with surprise, horror, and a weird sense of shyness. The bird doubled down, you come here everyday with that thing in your hand and watch me… I’m even over the fact that I never wanted this. But I’m still curious as to why? why do you keep watching me?

The watcher was still unable to adjust to his reality shifting in such a surprising, unexpected way. A talking bird? and she is aware that she was being watched all this time?

I… he said

What? she said. What do you want from me?

I… just thought that you looked really beautiful and graceful…

I’m just me. There is nothing significant about me.

There is.. he said.

I don’t see it, she said. I’m like every other bird in this park. There is nothing that separates me from others. Actually in ways I’m not even the best. I’m smaller than others, I’m not as blue and I don’t chirp as loud.

He said, those are not the things I’m looking for. Yes, I know the other birds are bigger. I know some are louder and there are some watchers that prefer those. I prefer a sense of grace, balance and uniqueness. This is why I ended up watching you.

The bird was confused. He wasn’t able to understand what was going through her mind. She meant to say something and then she realized she can’t string the words together, and she just took off.

The guy, with his binoculars in his hands, his typical gear on him, in his typical spot on a typical Saturday, was feeling as if he was in a completely foreign land, nothing made sense right now. His beliefs were shattered with this bird approaching him and not even talking; but yelling, demanding answers for his behavior.

It’s a weird thing, he felt that he was maybe doing something wrong by watching an unsuspecting bird. If it was a human, there would definitely be consequences. When it was a bird, it was fine. If the bird stated talking, now it wasn’t fine. it wasn’t? it was? His world didn’t make sense at that moment. He didn’t even know whether to lift up his binoculars and look for her or to just leave the park and never come again. He didn’t know if he was supposed to be embarrassed, surprised, terrified, happy… It was a surreal moment.

While he was still trying to process what was happening, the bird came back, with a bit of an angry passion, started talking:

You don’t know my life. You don’t know what I do, why I do. You probably think that I’m pretty for reasons that are completely alien to me. There is nothing that we share, and I don’t understand what could make you think that I’m worth watching. You can’t understand me and I don’t understand any of this. And I’ll tell you that when I first realized that I was being watched, I let it happen. I liked it for a bit. I got used to it. But as time passed, questions took over my head. Why? There is nothing about me. You can’t relate to me, you can’t really talk to me. I give you nothing, and I get nothing from you. I wasn’t going to come here but I couldn’t stop myself this time.

The guy, still unable to adjust to the reality of a talking bird, said: I told you, you are beautiful. I like your feathers, how you move, everything about your being.

The bird wanted to hear more

It doesn’t matter if you understand or not. It doesn’t even matter if I understand it. Every Saturday I came to this park and did my reading, watched you and felt happy doing so. There is nothing else beneath this. It’s not connected to any reason beyond the fact that your presence somehow made me feel peaceful. It’s not because you give me anything and it’s not because I even expected anything from you. But I’m sorry, talking to you made me realize that maybe I was doing something wrong. It was somehow okay when I thought you didn’t know or didn’t even maybe understand that you were being watched. But now I cannot even decide whether I should be ashamed or not.

She didn’t know what to think of his answer. She understood that there were things that he was saying to which she could never relate. She couldn’t decide whether to let them go and just let this guy be. After all, she knew that he meant no harm, wanted nothing from her except for her presence. She was fine with that.

But still, someone watching her? While she was doing her own things, and because of what? Just because she looked “pretty”? Was this demeaning to her? Or was it okay because this was the only thing that he care about? He had no idea that she could talk.

Now that you know that I can talk, do you still want to only focus on how I look and move?

He was thinking about this himself. But the answer was clear to him.

No. Now I want to know about your life. How you think, what you see. I want to know your world.

What if I don’t agree to share it with you?

Then I think I would leave you alone.

Would you still come here to watch me?

No. I don’t think so

Why not?

Because I now know that you don’t want that. And I already feel guilty that I have been watching you without knowing that you were aware that I was.

He could have watched her as he wanted. The fact is that he didn’t need her permission. He was still kind enough to let her decide and the only reason why he did this was because of his values it seemed. She decided to give him a shot.

I’ll tell you about my life and how I see things. But I want something from you

He was surprised both because she was willing and because she wanted something. What do you want? he said.

I need you to bring food next Saturday so I have a valid reason to fly here and talk to you. Otherwise, I would have to answer questions that you yet cannot understand.

This was fascinating. He was still trying to make sense everything that was happening but this certainly felt like happy moment. He said okay, I’ll be bringing food next Saturday and I’ll be hoping to see you here.

She said, okay. And flew away without saying anything else. She expected him to stay and watch her. She was so sure that she didn’t even check. If he was still there.

After a while she felt the need to scan the place to see where he was. But he couldn’t find him. He was gone.

He seemed eager to find out about her. But he never came again. Not next week, not ever…